trap

The famed "Bill of No Rights" was written in 1993 by Lewis Napper, a self-described amateur philosopher and from Mississippi who ran for a U.S. Senate seat in 2000 as a Libertarian. It was not written by Mitchell Kaye a Georgia state representative from Marietta.


We, the sensible people of the United States, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior and secure the blessings of debt-free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal, bed wetters. We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people were confused by the Bill of Rights and are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights.

ARTICLE I:

You do not have the right to a new car, big screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II:

You do not have the right to never be offended. This country is based on freedom, and that means freedom for everyone - not just you! You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a different opinion, etc., but the world is full of idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III:

You do not have the right to be free from harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV:

You do not have the right to free food and housing. Americans are the most charitable people to be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve nothing more than the creation of another generation of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V:

You do not have the right to free health care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI:

You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII:

You do not have the right to the possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you away in a place where you still won't have the right to a big-screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII:

You do not have the right to demand that our children risk their lives in foreign wars to soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so much of our time battling each and every little tyrant with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX:

You do not have the right to a job. All of us sure want all of you to have one, and will gladly help you along in hard times, but we expect you to take advantage of the opportunities of education and vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X:

You do not have the right to happiness. Being an American means that you have the right to pursue happiness - which by the way, is a lot easier if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic laws created by those of you who were confused by the Bill of Rights.


1 comments about The Bill of NO Rights


#1

Posted By: DimwitFri. Apr 13, 2012

To gain some perspective one should explore the real Bill of Rights at: ushistory. org/documents/amendments.htm

Bill of Rights Amendment 1 Freedoms, Petitions, Assembly Amendment 2 Right to bear arms Amendment 3 Quartering of soldiers Amendment 4 Search and arrest Amendment 5 Rights in criminal cases Amendment 6 Right to a fair trial Amendment 7 Rights in civil cases Amendment 8 Bail, fines, punishment Amendment 9 Rights retained by the People Amendment 10 States' rights Later Amendments Amendment 11 Lawsuits against states Amendment 12 Presidential elections Amendment 13 Abolition of slavery Amendment 14 Civil rights Amendment 15 Black suffrage Amendment 16 Income taxes Amendment 17 Senatorial elections Amendment 18 Prohibition of liquor Amendment 19 Women's suffrage Amendment 20 Terms of office Amendment 21 Repeal of Prohibition Amendment 22 Term Limits for the Presidency Amendment 23 Washington, D. C. , suffrage Amendment 24 Abolition of poll taxes Amendment 25 Presidential succession Amendment 26 18-year-old suffrage Amendment 27 Congressional pay raises

Return to topPost your comment


NOTE: The Comments section is provided in the interests of free speech only. It is mostly unmoderated, but comments that are off topic, offensive, slanderous, or otherwise annoying stand a chance of being deleted. The fact that any comment remains on the site IN NO WAY constitutes an endorsement by My Sore Butt or links provided in that comment.

DO NOT copy and paste from other web sites unless you are commenting on it.

DO NOT POST IN ALL CAPITAL LETTERS OR YOUR COMMENT WILL BE DELETED

No cookies, no comments.
It's a anti-spam thing.

Return to top

Your Name:
Your comment:

(Maximum characters: 2500) You have characters left.

You must do the %$^$# anti-spam math: 52  X   400   /   61 =

If you have problems submitting this form please contact me at MySoreButt and tell me why you were unable to post.