"I'm Heterosexual Where's My Parade?"
by The Epic
This rant happened to be inspired by two of the nastiest lesbians know to this world, thanks for making me throw up all over my great self…stupid fucking bitches. I should go out and beat the bitches down with my 5 Lb. cock right now. I know one thing; they wouldn't be gay when they saw how great my penis is.
Now back to what I was saying. I came out of school today, annoyed as I always am as I see the same old flock of morons that think it's a race to get on your fucking bus. For gods sake the bus leaves at the same fucking time whether you're the first on or not. Anyways, I go out and on the way BAM right in front of my great eyes was a sight so god awful I tried to make a picture of it on MS Paint and the program deleted its' self leaving a message of "What the fuck is wrong with you?"
I'll be honest; I'd rather do a picture album on tubgirl than to see those two lock lips one more time. I mean, I don't go around frenching bitches right in the middle of the public do I? Although I spend a lot of time running from ugly bitches I sure don't french the hot ones because I can never get enough public time. However these two lez-bos who have no friends and pretty much no purpose in life can do it and I can bet nothing would be done about it. Why you ask? Why in the hell would someone force this upon us? Simple, because they're gay.
I'm tired of people treating gays as if they are so special just because they can make out in the middle of public places. We know you're gay, the only way you could appear any gayer is if you're so ugly that no man would touch you, in other words, become Rosie O Donnell. I saw in the record books the other day the world's largest gay convention. What in the fuck is this? There's all of a sudden gay conventions, but we don't get straight conventions? Is that what you're trying to tell me?
It's not just that idea that pisses me off. I happened to go by the network Bravo, I threw up than too, and saw the show with the ass plugger fashion "experts". Ok, they're in love with the penis so that means they have a great fashion sense and everyone else is wrong. No wonder people find it so damn cool to wear pink and put they're collars up on their shirts. I have some bad news, you're all retards. I think that we should make a show called "Nothing but straight." That will involve all of the things that make being a guy so much fun. You know, drinking, porno, gambling, hookers, etc. The dress code would only have one rule…no pink. Other than that it'd be one huge party. Bring on the fat chicks…I mean…beer…and stuff.
Than once we gain so much popularity we'll get a loud mouthed representative to bitch and moan about other stuff that no one else cares about so the gays don't feel left out and than we'll have a huge parade with big floats honoring everything cool. Only the end of this parade involves me smashing a Rosie O Donnell pi and talking about gayness being overpowered by greatness. My god I have so many great ideas.
About the Author
The Epic is owner of a personal site named the Epic Zone. You can access it by going to theepiczone.com.
4 comments about I'm Heterosexual
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